Will you have sexual intercourse within the next two weeks?
Doubt it. I'm on a self-imposed sexual exile.
Do you think your ex still wants to be with you?
Probably. All his other girlfriends were skanks, stupid, or stupid skanks.
Has a boyfriend/ girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you?
Nope.
Do you honestly have feelings for someone at the moment?
Sure do. Whether he reciprocates them remains to be seen....
Do you like when people call you things like "baby", "sweetie", "hun", etc?
Depends on if I know and, more importantly, LIKE the person saying it.
Let's say you had a baby with the last person you kissed?
Hell to the NO! Fast forward to the next question.
Will this Friday be a good one?
It's payday, so yes.
Do you believe that love lasts forever?
God's love does.
What's wrong with you right now?
How much time do you have?
When will your next kiss be?
When he finally gets his head out of his ass and realizes I have a mad crazy crush on him...
Who was the last person in bed with you?
I went to go huddle under the covers with my mama.
Have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately?
I've been happy on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, but sad on Tuesdays and Thursdays.
Are you wasting your time on someone?
No, I think I'm on the mend from him and moving on.
What's the most important part of a relationship in your opinion?
That both parties not be crazy.
Where do you wish you were right now?
On the beach with the boy I'm crushing on.
Is it okay to kiss people when you're single?
Sure is. That's one of the first steps to becoming coupled up.
Have you ever broken anyone's heart?
Sure have, but it wasn't my fault they fell in love.
Tell the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?
I liked the way he smiles at me and, even though he doesn't know it, I *adore* his accent, even though I tease him about it.
Is there a person that will always have a place in your heart?
A few people, actually.
Does someone like you right now?
I'm sure I have some stalker out there that's wanking off to pictures of me.
Have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with B, H, E or J ?
Does it make me a skank if I say ALL of them.
Are you and the last person you kissed in a relationship?
Heck no. He was a stage five clinger.
Honestly, what's on your mind?
Graduating some time before I turn 50.
When was the last time you kissed someone?
December.
Is there a person that means a lot to you?
Lots of 'em.
Have you ever fallen asleep with the last person you kissed?
No, he kept trying to hop on top of me and I kept having to fight him off, so there was no sleeping involved.
If you married the last person that you texted what would your last name be?
Bamba. I'd be Guamanian.
What's the first thing that pops into your head when you think of last summer?
Cabo San Lucas.
Do you believe teenagers can be in love and stay in love?
I did, so I know it's possible.
State of the Union: Sleepy
Listening to: Here With Me by Dido
I have one of those secret wishes that I never want to say aloud because it makes me sound like a selfish person. I can say it here because everyone already knows that I'm a selfish person and you still kinda sorta like me so that makes it okay. :)
I've been belly dancing for three years now. I love it. It's one of the few things that I know I'm good at. We do this improvisational show once a month at a coffee shop here to live drumming. We don't know what beats we're going to get or what themes are going to get tossed at us during the second set.
My selfish wish is for my friends to actually support me for once and show up. I invite them and they say they're going to show and then they never do. These aren't my "casual acquaintance" friends I'm talking about, but my good friends. I show up at all their things. I come to all their parties, and their kid's parties, I show up at the things that matter and are important to them, but they never come to mine. Some make the excuse that they have kids. Well, there were about 10 in the audience last night. Others say that have people in town. Hello? Bring them. It's fun, it's different, and they'll be able to brag that they went to an awesome show. Some people complain about being busy or being tired or not having enough time. Who on God's green earth has more stuff going on and is busier than me? I work full time AND go to school full time and I still manage to get to their events, so that excuse won't wash, either.
Everyone else has people show up at every single show and it makes me sad. My gay boyfriend Paul has shown up once and I love him for that, and my psycho ex boyfriend used to, but I think it was more because he knew that dancing makes me horny and he wanted to get guaranteed booty. On the one hand, it makes me feel like a bad person because I feel that pinch of jealousy that everyone else is able to field someone and I'm there alone. On the other hand, it makes me feel like I'm a bad person with bad friends because I do good things for them and they can't do this one thing for me.
I feel like a whiny brat because it seems like I'm begging for adulation, but I don't need that. I just want my friends to show an interest in the thing that I love above all others. I want them to be a good friend, even if it's only one time, and show up for me, like I've done for them hundreds of times.
State of the Union: Sad
Listening to: Helena by My Chemical Romance
I need your help. Tact is not my strong suit. I need to you to tell me what to say to my friend that will get my point across without completely alienating her. Here's the sitch:
"Michelle" started getting on my nerves. There's nothing else I can say. She felt like we were friends enough that she could be herself and be goofy and silly and stupid. Well, the only problem with that is I can stand people that act like that ALL the time. It's immature and it grates on my nerves. She was calling every single day. She was constantly wanting to hang out. The only problem was, she never had any money. Anytime we hung out, I had to pay. I knew Michelle had a crappy job, so I offered to pay. One time. Then, the bullshit started. She would "accidentally" forget her wallet or she wouldn't have enough money to cover what she ordered. Me, being a good friend, would cover it. Then, it got to the point, where she wouldn't even pull out her wallet or even *pretend* like she was pulling out her wallet to pay. She would suggest that we go eat or have drinks some place and then not have any money or, she would whip out her calculator and her checkbook and start adding up how much she had in her account right there at the table and then look at me with this hangdog expression to make me feel bad that she had no money and guilt me into paying.
She was dating this guy that was essentially using her for a booty call, but slapped a relationship tag on it to keep her pacified. She lived in a town about 20-30 miles away and she would come into town to see him and was killing time at my house until he was done with whatever he was doing and then she would trot off to his place that she wasn't allowed in when he wasn't there and wasn't given a key to even though they had been dating forever. One night, she was sitting at my house waiting for him to call her so she could go meet him. I had a test the next day and didn't want to put her out, but it kept getting later and later. She didn't leave until almost one in the morning, and I overslept and missed my test. That was it for me. My G.P.A. is the most important thing and anything that compromises that is cut off. I kinda stopped answering my phone after that.
She met my friend, "Leslie" at my birthday party and monopolized her and got her phone number. Then, she basically took Leslie over. Full-on took her over. They were hanging out a lot, talking on the phone a lot, etc. It got to the point where it didn't even feel like Leslie was my friend; she was *Michelle's* friend. This was during one of my black periods where I was in a "fuck it" kind of mood and I basically said, "fuck it," and let her have her. It didn't help matters that Leslie repeated some things about my friendship with my best friend that only Michelle could have known. She also made some comments that let me know that my name and personal business were being discussed. That *really* pissed me off and I stopped responding to Leslie's texts, phone calls, and invitations to show up at things because I knew Michelle would be there and I didn't want to be around her and I didn't trust either of them because it was fairly obvious they were talking about me. I cut Leslie off and that was wrong. I know, write it down for posterity; I actually admitted that I was wrong about something. I shouldn't have done that to her. Eventually, she stopped trying.
Michelle moved out of state and, right around Yom Kippur, I started thinking about Leslie and I felt bad, so I sent her a text. Slowly, we started hanging out again. She didn't really want to discuss the Michelle situation, and neither did I, but it needed to be addressed. We started talking and I told her how I felt and then she told me that Michelle was doing and saying things to cause a division between us. Leslie would want to invite me to things and Michelle would come up with reasons and excuses for why she didn't want me there. Then, she made it seem as if I didn't want to be friends with Leslie. Basic girl bullshit, in other words. Some of Leslie's friends confirmed all the nonsense that Michelle was spreading. Then, to make matters worse, she kinda started bugging Leslie the way she was doing me. She would call all the time, be needy all the fricking time, pull the same money crap all the time, and would even show up at her house when she wasn't there and be sitting outside waiting for her when she got home.
Leslie and I have worked through our issues and we're closer than ever. The only issue is Michelle. Something needs to be done. Leslie wants no part of it. She told me that, since Michelle was my friend first, I should deal with the situation. I get her point in a way, because by introducing them, I brought drama into her life. I don't know what to say that won't sound messed up, though. Michelle and I have a *lot* of mutual friends, so I can't eradicate her from my life the way I normally would someone that has caused this much drama. I want to tell her off, but I'd probably make her cry and, for the most part, she is a good friend. She's just annoying in large doses and severely lacks good judgment and common sense in a *lot* of areas.
Tell me how to tell her to back the fuck off. Tell me how to tell her to quit being a stalker with my friend, to go make her own damned friends, and stay the hell away from mine. Tell me how to tell her that she needs to learn home training (i.e. it is not acceptable to eat food off people's plates nor is it acceptable to pass gas *loudly* from either end of your body at the dinner table and then laugh about it and do it repeatedly). Tell me a nice way to tell her that, if you don't have money, stay your broke ass at home like normal people do. Tell me how to tell her that her squatter's rights on my personal space are being revoked and she needs to learn boundaries and stay in her place and out mine.
Help me. Please?
State of the Union: Distressed
Listening to: Glamorous by Fergie.
I used to get all these ideas about what all you guys look like it my head. I didn't know what your voices sounded like, but I could imagine and pretend. You give good advice to me over the internet, you know more about certain aspects of my life than my own mother, but I haven't met the majority of you. You come into my life, and I into yours, and we're strangers, but we're soooo not strangers.
You've laughed with me. Cried with me. Got angry with me. Threatened people with pitchfork-mobs on my behalf. You've cheered me up, cheered me on, and been some of the best cyber-friends a pal can have. Gianni used to call you my "blog peeps" and my "cyber-family" and you guys really are.
I'm waxing sentimental here, and not drunk at all, so that must mean I really love you guys. I'll be all evil and bitter later and put things back to normal, but I want to thank each and every one of you for being my family.
State of the Union: Warm and Fuzzy
Listening to: the whir of the fan in my MacBook
I have a crush on this guy I go to school with. I probably shouldn't say anything because he probably thinks I'm nuts. Anyone that reads the things I post on Facebook will understand why he might have that impression. I don't know him all too well, but I like the things I know. He seems smart, funny, and nice. Like real nice.Genuine, I mean. You can tell he came from a loving home and that he isn't dark and twisty like myself. See my problem?
I attract psychos. We all know this. The only thing is, I don't even know if he likes me. I like him, but for the first time in ages, I can't tell how he feels about me. I know he thinks I'm silly because he's always laughing at me and making fun of me because I always manage to do or say something boneheaded in front of him. I get flustered when I talk to him and some of the most inane things pop out of my mouth. If he didn't know for a fact that I got into the same school he did, he'd probably think I'm a complete idiot.
I sent him something via email that I might end up regretting. It will be awesome if he checks the one box but DEVASTATINGLY horrible if he checks the other box. If you get rejected by someone that isn't crazy, that doesn't have multiple personality disorders, or isn't a raging 'roid head, someone normal in other words, does that mean you're doomed?
This is what I sent him:
Send up some silent prayers that he doesn't stomp all over my poor heart.
State of the Union: hyperventilating a tad
Listening to: That Girl is a Cowboy by Garth Brooks
That's his new name. That Jackass. I hadn't spoken to him since December 22nd, I believe. He always managed to call when I was at work, doing something important, or when something good was on t.v. I knew I didn't really like him as much as I should. He was super enthusiastic about me and I was more like, "eh," about the whole situation. Just the thought of a certain someone that I've had a crush on since high school potentially showing up at my party had me more excited and that gave me my answer. I didn't call him or text him during Christmas and I went to a New Year's party alone and kissed a bottle of champagne rather than be with him. He's left messages and I didn't know how to respond, partially because I didn't want to talk to him and partially because I knew that, if I did respond, he would jump on the "I want to sleep with Slayer" bandwagon again.
He called and I did something cowardly, but what I learned from dating Richard. If you're going to break up with someone and they're potentially mentally unstable, don't do it in person or over the phone. In person, they can cry, plead, hit you, or try to kill themselves or you. If you do it over the phone, you feel like a dick for hanging up on them when they start crying or you lose control and start yelling back at them when they get verbally abusive and start crying. I can't deal with men crying. What did I do? I ended things via text.
Normally, I wouldn't do it. Marlena got broken up with via text and she was devastated. I did it over text because he's overly emotional and I couldn't deal with that. I sent him an honest text and told him he was too aggressive for me and it wasn't going to work out. Then he texts me back and tells me that he's been calling to tell me he found someone else on New Years. Uh...did you forget that you've been leaving me messages and texts about how much you miss me and can't wait to see me? Whatevs. I don't even care, but, because I'm a bitch and I have to get the last word in, I told him that it all worked out for the best and I'm glad he found someone to practice free love with. Then I told him I'd met someone else and I'd love for him to meet her because she is awesome. Why am I bitch? He confided in me that his last three girlfriends left him for another chick and now he thinks I have, too.
It was evil and petty, but he told me this story before about how, whenever he likes a girl and her friend tries to cock block, he will deliberately hurt the cock blocker's feelings and make her feel like shit. He will say, "Are you mad because your friend looks better than you?" or "Are you mad because your friend isn't fat like you?" or some put down that will make her cry. When he told me that the last night we hung out, casually in conversation like he was discussing the weather, I knew he was a dick and I'd never be able to date a someone like that. I wanted him to see what it felt like to be emotionally kicked in the nuts. Plus, I feel like I have carpal tunnel in my dominant hand and it's all his fault. You're not stupid. You know why.
Thank the Lord in Heaven I didn't sleep with that jackass.
State of the Union: Not amused, not annoyed
Listening to: Whatever You Like by Anya Marina
I got yelled at because I haven't been blogging lately. I have all kinds of things to talk about and I keep meaning to do it, but I guess my heart isn't in it anymore. I don't even keep up with everyone's blogs as fanatically as I used to. I guess that, since the old EFX went away/imploded on itself, I just haven't been as keen to blog as before.
I've been dating this guy. I would tell you his name is Francesco, seeing as that's what he told me his name was, but it's not. His name is Ran, short for Ranesh or however you spell it. We're not together officially, but we're about to not be together in any sense of the word. I keep hearing warning bells and I don't know why. Maybe because he lied about his name. Well, I met him on the street as we were club hopping to celebrate finals being over and I was all kinds of drunk and I made out with him. Yes. Me. On the street. Drunk as a skunk. Made out with some dude with an Italian accent. Well, the accent explains the "why" part to the making out.
He's pushy. I used to think it was cute (probably because of the accent), but I am sooo over it now. He doesn't listen to me. I know I sound like a girl saying that, but in this case, it's true. When someone is sick and tells you they're sick and they just want to go to sleep, why would you show up at their door? When they tell you they want to kick it with friends, why would you blow up their phone every hour on the hour until they call you back? When they tell you they want to chill with their family and relax, why would you blow up their phone trying to get them to go to a club?
Part of the problem is that my infatuation with his accent has worn off and I can see that I don't like him like that. He is smart, he has a kooky sense of humor, he likes to travel, and he isn't keen to make babies. He sounds like a viable candidate, but the alarm bells are going off. The same ones I had with Richard. I try not to hold any man accountable for the actions/mistakes of another man, but I am getting the heebie-jeebies about him that I got with Richard.
Is it a break up if you aren't really together? I'm annoyed. Perturbed. Disgruntled. Pick your S.A.T. word. I just need to figure out a way to get him to back off without him stalking me and he soooo has stalker tendencies. Plus, he keeps trying to get me to sleep with him. It's very off-putting. I'm not suggesting that he play hard to get or anything, but I don't want you putting my hand on your errection and telling me that I did that, either.
Jeez.
State of the Union: Frocking annoyed
Listening to: Meet Me Halfway by the Black Eyed Peas
Bloggedy Blogger: Where do We Go From Here Part Deux
This place has turned into a ghost town for bloggers and a haven for spammers. I doubt Keith is going to renew the domain in March seeing as most people have abandoned this place.
My question is to you, the loyal, die-hard few that remain: Will you switch over to EFX3, go somewhere else, or will you stop blogging? Just wondering so I'll know where to find you.....
I keep my life compartmentalized. I don't like for my worlds to collide. I keep my family separate from my friends. A lot of people on here are like family. We've never met, but you guys know more about me than my own family does. They would have an absolute SHIT FIT if they knew I was blogging about my life, let alone what I do with my free time.I'm not saying I'm a wild child by any stretch of the imagination to a *normal* person, but my dad's family is *extremely* conservative and my "antics" would bring shame on the house of Usher. (I almost put my dad's real last name on here until I realized he could google it, pull up this blog and then my existence would topple like a house of cards in a tornado).
My cousin tried to friend me on Facebook and I hit the ignore button. It seems kinda mean, but I have to protect my privacy. Any of you that actually read my Facebook page would die laughing because I put *everything* on there, but it's different. No one from my family is on there. They have no idea what I do, who my friends are, who I am and I want to keep it that way. The less they have to gossip about regarding myself, the better.
I have coworkers that read my blog. I'm careful not to refer to my company by name or give away any information that's privileged, but it's kinda cool. I have put some of my coworkers on blast for some of the things they do. I got told it was risky, but hey, they're the ones breaking company policy or acting like a fool, not me, so why should I worry? There's a bit of anonymity with that because only a select few even know I blog, so, if any leaks occur, I know where to go first.
One of my friends told me that she read my blog. I did a double take because I didn't think she knew about it. Apparently, she actually looks at the information page on Facebook and I have it listed on their. I never read that crap, except when it's a cute boy and I want to find out if he's married, but other than that, nothing. Her reading that prompted me to think about how much of myself I'm putting out there and who has access to it. My Facebook is set to private, my pictures can only be viewed by friends, and I only accept people that I know (either from blogging or that I have physically met in person through school, work, etc.) but it still makes me nervous about how much of me is out there.
Do you ever get concerned that you're showing too much of your soul through your blog?
State of the Union: Pensive Listening to: Bad Romance by Lady Gaga
I'm supposed to be writing my paper for my Mexican American Studies class. Seeing as it's 65% of my grade, I should be focused, but I'm not. While I am typing this, I am also uploading pictures from my camera and listening to Amy Winehouse and her music leads to deep thought for me, but not about gender stereotypes and race relations, which is what my paper is supposed to be about. I should probably change that.....
It's almost Holiday season. My shopping is normally almost done by now, but I haven't even started. I am having a hard time finding any of my friends that I truly want to buy presents for. How sad is it that I would find more joy buying presents for people that I've never met, namely blog friends, and friends that I've reconnected with on Facebook, than friends that I see every day or at least twice a month? Maybe I'm being perverse, but I just don't care too much anymore. I kinda decided I'm only buying practical presents for people that need them. I am not contributing to anyone else's gluttony...well, unless I find out that someone I wasn't intending to buy a present for buys me one. I've had that happen to me too many times and I refuse to be the one making someone else feel dumb for putting the time and effort into buying a present and then receiving that "Oh shit!" look that clearly conveys they didn't buy you anything.
I wanted to blog about my trip to Vegas with Paul. I keep trying to wait until I'm in a better mood but "permanently bitchy" seems to be a constant state of mind, so I will probably just write it and pray he doesn't read it because he gets his feelings hurt *entirely* too easily and some feeling hurting is going to occur if I write about that trip.
Sorry for the suck fest. I will try to be more cheerful in my next entry. As usual, there's something else going on and, as usual, I don't know how to constructively process it. I think that's a life skill your parents are supposed to teach you but, seeing as I don't think they know how to do it themselves, I might be outta gas....
State of the Union: Depressingly cheerless
Listening to: When Doves Cry by Prince
I am in a rut. I get up. I go to school. I go to work. I go home and do homework. I go to bed. I get up. I go to school. You know how it goes. On weekends, all I want to do is sleep. If I didn't have friends that would beat me stupid if I didn't go to their parties and events, I probably wouldn't go anywhere at all. Life has no color. No texture. No scent.
I was depressed when I started dating my ex. I will freely admit it now. It was bad. Now? Now I'm in a free-fall. I cry. I eat. I eat some more. I don't cry for him. He isn't worth it. I cry because I've tasted of life and it isn't sweet anymore.
Okay, so I went to the Texas/Louisiana Monroe opener game last week. We broke the stadium record:
I am voluntarily wearing burnt orange. Take note. It might never happen again as visions of the Great Pumpkin belly dance costume are dancing in my head.
It's different this year. I went every year with five guy friends and everyone graduated last year except me. I asked Mario (Julie's husband) to go with me and he backed out last minute so I said, f--- it, I'm going to go by myself. I looked at it like it was a sociology experiment. It will force me to talk to people I don't know. I just prayed that I wouldn't get stuck next to some Newman type (bad) or some Milton type (worse) or my ex boyfriend (shoot me in the face with a machine gun.) I also prayed that they wouldn't get offended (bad) or make me have to kick their ass (worse) because I talk a lot of smack and I have a smart mouth. I prayed I wouldn't get stuck next to some sorority girls with fake bakes and eating disorders. I said to the Lord, "Lord, I need a break. Just one. Send me some hotties. Just this once."
For all you ass clowns that don't believe in God, booya! He DOES exist. I asked for hotties and the good Lord provided them. He sent me Justin and Nick.
They will forever go down in infamy because they talk more smack than me (and we all know that's saying something.) They were all up in my shit and laughing at me because I was a little on the inebriated side. It also didn't help that this 50+ year old drunk man, who knocked over drinks and food on his way through the stands to his seat, planted himself behind us. I really thought he was going to a) hurl b) pitch forward and fall on top of me or c) all of the above. He was toooooooore up. You know that drunk that people get when they've been drinking ALL day and you can smell it seeping through their pores? Yeah, that was him.
He knocked over my purse (spilling out my hidden mini bottles of Absolut and Crown). He knocked me into Justin. He kept bumping into me and I could feel his hot breath on my neck. Then, he decides to sit down, when everyone else is standing, mind you, which put his face directly behind my ass and he proceeded to stare at it for half the game. I kid you not. His drunk ass son was standing next to him and was high fiving him as his dad made motions with his hands that he was slapping and grabbing my ass. Yeah....real classy, dude.
Justin and I thought he was going to throw up on us and I kept making jokes about his "daddy." Then, after that moron left, we realized half the stench was coming from the sulfur in the cannon as they fired it off every time we scored, and not from Big Daddy, as I christened him. Oh well, he needed some blame because he was shameful. Now that we know security isn't that tight, I will be well insulated at the next game with more liquor.
I loved it when the Band, who was playing boring songs, spelled out TEXAS on the field, but they need to take some lessons from Prairie View and learn how to become a real "Showband."
One of the highlights of the game was finding out that OU lost to BYU. As the news spead through the stadiums, everyone was on their feet chanting, "OU sucks!" Yup, it was a good day. Plus, Nick was really cute and I managed not to maul him and make him my lust bunny, so hey, maybe I really *am* cured of my sex addiction after all.....
I know. I don't believe it either. Somebody better warn this boy that I'm the Make Out Bandit......
State of the Union: Amused
Listening to: That Girl is a Cowboy by Garth Brooks
Dating Diaries: Trash Deserves Trash...What? Too Harsh?
When my relationships go belly up, I generally don't blog about why they went bad. Well, except in the case of Naughty Nanny Dude because that was way too bizarre and too funny *not* to blog about it. I said that I wouldn't post the reasons in an open forum and I haven't. It does astound me that, for someone that claims to love me so deeply, and do anything for me to keep me happy, for someone who said that, if my cancer came back, would take care of me, he broke the world's speed record for rebounding with his ex.
Thanks to the keen eye of my friend Jen, who wanted to ensure that I don't go back to "Retard Richard" as she calls him, she did a little recon and came up with a timeline that even I can't ignore. She is nosy to a fault and went smooth up on his My Space page and started looking at his pictures. She came up with this:
Yes, she looks like a total hood rat.This is his ex-booty call, his words, not mine, that he says used to come over and try to hook up with him when we were together and yes, according to him, she was a stripper. Where? I have no idea, but I hear the Landing Strip will hire anyone, so hey. Whatevs. I don't spend too much time looking at his pictures or his page because, makes me sound bad as a girlfriend, I didn't particularly care and there were so many grammatical mistakes and punctuation errors that it made my head hurt. Well, Jen noticed that, after I went and got my car and assorted items of mine that he had in his possession, he added this one:
They were obviously taken on the same day at the same party so why the subterfuge in not putting it up until after he was sure that I wasn't coming back if he didn't do anything with her. I don't understand why he tried to hide it in the first place. Even when we were together, I didn't care that he was still friends with her. I really didn't. That, in itself, should have told me what I really though about our relationship because I am not only the baddest bitch, I have to be the *only* bitch.
I know he can't be by himself. He is one of those people that *has* to have someone physically there or else he will go insane and I know that he's a big ol' horndog that needs sex constantly, so I know he hooked up with her. I'm a big ol' horndog, too, so the fact that I was coming up with excuses to not sleep with him should have been a red flag in itself. Sleuthy Jen, as I now call her, checked his updates and figured out, by his status and mood page, that he hooked up with her less than a week after we broke up. I hadn't even gone to pick up my stuff yet and, that same night, after he slept with her, he texted me telling me that he missed me. Uh....okay?
I hadn't deleted him from my My Space page even though multiple people told me I should. His little sister is on my page as well and I'd have to delete her as well and *she* never did anything to me. I don't look at his page and I assumed he didn't look at mine until he started sending me messages. What ticked me off and prompted this entry? He commented on the fact that I had gone to Schlitterbahn and said that, if I ever wanted to go again, to let him know because he had the hook up. Wanna know who is hook up is? His fricking hook up! Yes, that skanky stripper. I think she works there or knows someone that does. How do I know? Sleuthy Jen pointed out the update that said he had an unexpected trip to Schlitterbahn. Oh, and this:
Skank wearing bikini? Check. Hand positioned like she was stroking his hair? Check. Me vomiting in my mouth that I would ever date a jackass that would actually try and run game on the girl that *invented* the game? Check. For the record, the part that has me steamed isn't that he's hooking up with her. He can do whatever he likes with whomever he likes. It's *MY* observation skills that has me wanting to choke the living shit out of his ass. I noticed something that Jen couldn't pick up on because she didn't know what she was looking at. The part that has me just BRASSED OFF is the fact that see that iTrip sitting on her lap? That's mine. That's mine, too. The part that has me absolutely fucking LIVID? See that jacked up tint on the passenger side window at the top and the smudge stain in the middle? He caused that stain when he put his greasy, gelled up hair against the window one day when I was driving him to his parent's house. Yes, people, that's MY FUCKING CAR! He rode that bitch around in MY FUCKING CAR!
I'm so pissed off, my hands are shaking. He was a loser. I didn't figure it out at first because he hid his craziness well. I will never, ever, EVER forgive or forget this. I want to go OLD TESTAMENT on his ass. I want to run into him and mess him up, all the while wearing that shirt shirt You know. The one that Lindsey Lohan wore on TRL after she and Wilmer Whatshisname broke up:
You had best believe there will be retribution. I will go Old Testament, Vengeance-is-Mine-Thus-Saith-the-Lord on him.
State of the Union: Over loser men
Listening to: Irreplaceable by Beyonce and, believe me, the irony of the lyrics about the dude riding his jumpoff around in a car that Beyonce bought isn't lost on me, trust.
I saw this on Media Take Out and I *had* to take it. I wanted to know if I was a hoodie or not/
1. You've ever used an album cover for a dustpan.
(5 points) {I used Michael Jackson's Off the Wall}
2. If you've ever run a race barefoot in the middle of the street.
(10points) {Do dirt roads count as a street}
3. You had a candy lady in your neighborhood.
(5 + 5 extra points if your house was the candy lady)
4. If you ever had to pick your own switch or belt.
(3 points for each) {Had to go pick my own switch}
5. If you have ever had to walk to school or walked home from school.
(2points) {That wasn't ghetto. I lived down the street and there was no bus service} 6. If you have ever used dishwashing liquid for bubble bath.
(5 points)
7. If you ever mixed Kool-Aid one glass at a time because you got tired of other people drinking up the Kool-Aid you just made.
(5 points)
8. If you have ever played any of the following games: hide and go seek, freeze, tag, Momma may I? or red light/green light.
(2 points each) {Guilty as charged}
9. If your neighborhood had an ice cream man.
(2 points + 2 if he rang a bell) {We used to have a Blue Bell truck on our street}
10. If you refer to "Now and Later" candies as "Nighladers".
(5 points)
11. If you've ever run from the police on foot.
(5 points + 5 if you got away)
12. If you've ever had reusable bacon grease in a container on your stove.
(5 points + 15 if you still do it) {My nana used to do that}
13. The batteries in your remote control ever been held in by a piece of tape.
(5 points)
14. If you have ever worn any of the following fragrances Brute, Hai Karate, Jean Nate, Old Spice, Chloe, English Leather, Stetson, Charlie, or Faberge.
(1 point each)
15. You've ever used Tussy Deodorant.
(5 points)
16. You've never been to the dentist.
(15 points)
17. If you have a friend or family member whose nickname is one word said twice: dee-dee, fee-fee, man-man, Kay-Kay, lee-lee, ree-ree, ray-ray, nay-nay, tee-tee etc.
(10 points)
18. You have ever paged yourself for any reason.
(3 points)
19. You've ever worn house shoes outside of the house.
(2 points)
20. You add "ED" or "T" to the end of words already in the past tense
(for example, Tooked, Light-Skinneded, kilt, ruint, etc.)
(5 points)
21. You use 'n'em to describe a certain group of people ( for example Craig'n'em or Momma 'n'em). {Only in Dimebox} (5 points)
22. You've ever driven on a donut more than 2 weeks after your flat.
(5points)
23. Your child drops his/her pacifier and you sanitize it by sucking it.
(10 points)
24. You have ever slept in a chair to avoid messing up your hair.
(10 points)
25. You've ever left a social gathering with a plate.
(2 points) {Anyone that says that haven't done this is lying.}
26. You can't hold a glass because of the length of your nails.
(5 points)
27. The gold teeth in your mouth spell words.
(10 points)
28. You don't have your own place but your child has a leather coat and a pair of Jordan's. (15 points)
29. You constantly hit *69 and ask, "Did you just call here?"
(10 points)
30. You think Tupac is still alive.
(20 points)
31. If you are going to have to use a calculator to add your points.
(25points)
-- Now the totals...
0 - 50 points - I guess you were raised in the suburbs
51 - 75 points - A bonafide ex-hood rat
76 - 150 points - Spent a little time in the projects, huh?
150 points or more - Still there, huh?
What’s your score???? I got a 44. A lot of my answers came from summers in Dime Box. We weren't hood rats; we were just country as hell....
State of the Union: Tickled (and looking for some Now and Laters)
Listening to: Piece of My Heart by Janis Joplin
Work Life: Yes, I am Equal Opportunity for Evilness
So, my boss is the president of her homeowner's association and these people are like bickering preschoolers. There is so much pettiness and backbiting that it makes my head hurt. One of the girls, lets call her Missy, is particularly evil. She and my boss have been corresponding back and forth and I can't see for all the overt beyotch-ness going on. She is the queen of sending off "f-ed up" emails filled with cattiness, but one of them just really bothered me. Missy is all pissed off because one of the board members is still acting like she's the president and trying to run things and she just rubbed me the wrong way with this email that she sent to my boss, and it wasn't just because of all the typos, either.
She (old President) isn't supposed to be answering the HOA phone!! That is what was said at the meeting. I really don't have time to be going back and forth; and doing this he said she said stuff. I would like to vote on having the meetings audio/video recorded. that way we won't have this problem in the future. Who else is for the recording?
The rest of the group has done their research like you asked them to do... BUT doesn't feel comfortable reporting until all of the issues are resolved. You haven’t delegated this Laura (old President ) issue properly. Did you freeze our banking account? The message on the HOA phone line hasn’t been changed; has it?
Please don’t insult my intelligence or the rest of the group. And don’t let this president title go to your head. We want to respect you as president. But that means being a good leader for the group by following the bylaws. You were voted in and you can be voted out!
We all have to meet with the lawyer at the end of the month. I was hoping that we would be professional enough to resolve this matter before we got to him. So the next meeting will be August 13th, what time is good with everyone? And Amanda (grrr! I hate that name!) said we could have it at her house. Is that still right?
My boss didn't know how to respond back without taking her head off, so I started dictating to her, and then I ended up just taking over the keyboard. I was already in a bad mood and I don't like it when people try to sugar coat their evilness, so I responded back in kind:
My time is just as valuable as everyone else's. I want an amicable resolution that benefits everyone involved. I don't think that we need to resort to audio/video recordings. I feel that, as long as accurate notes are taken and distributed, then there is no need to have meetings recorded. The secretary is supposed to record the minutes and distribute them. If things are going too quickly for you in the meetings, please don't hesitate to ask us to speak slowly or to ask for a moment to make sure that you have everything written down before we proceed to the next issue.
If anyone does not feel comfortable with reporting until the issue is resolved, it would be beneficial to give an update on your status up until that point. It will let everyone involved know that you are working on the issue and there won't be any confusion regarding what has been done, what is pending, etc. The "Laura Issue" has not been delegated. Action items were assigned and the only thing being requested is an update on the action items. Laura will continue to serve the community in any capacity that she is needed as a homeowner and Board Member. I have added myself as a signer on the account. Laura is aware that I am the only person that is authorized to deposit into the account and that there is a "freeze" for accounts payable until it is authorized and approved by the Board.
No one is insulting your intelligence. If you took the comments in an insulting manner, then that was your interpretation of it and not my intention.I was elected into this position because the homeowners felt they could use my service. I am not being paid for this, but am working from a desire to improve our community and continue with our sense of "family." If the members feel that I am not doing my job adequately, then it is their prerogative to vote me out. Until then, I will continue to do what I have always done, support the growth and development of our community and our association. Nothing has "gone to my head." I am not on a power trip. I am not being a megalomaniac; I am just dealing with the issues that were dropped in my lap and trying to reach a speedy resolution.
The Board's main concern was communication. I am merely trying to open the lines of communication where people can voice their concerns and not fear retaliation or personal attacks. We can review the by-laws and every person's responsibilities at the next meeting if clarification is needed. I don't feel that we need to take this to an attorney because we are all mature adults, well able to handle ourselves in a mature fashion and not resort to playground histrionics. Amanda will need to let us know what time is best for her since we are meeting in her home and we can coordinate our meeting from there.
Have a good day.
After that nice, friendly, passive-aggressive bitchy email I sent, she's apparently been sweetness and light. She better be glad I was only in a "semi-foul" mood and not a "full-on" foul mood or else she would have got it *all* sick and ya'll would have seen me on Dateline NBC for sure.
State of the Union: Smug
Listening to: Thanks for the Memories by Fall Out Boy
Yet again, I find myself on the illusive search for love. I don't want to sling mud at him because, for all his faults, he wasn't a completely horrid person. Let's just say he wasn't for me. For many reasons. Not just because I'm being picky. There were valid reasons, not like the time I broke up with that dude that brayed like a donkey when he laughed. Or the guy with the "too moist" lips. Or the guy with the guyliner (In my defense, any dude that wears more makeup than me is definitely suspect.)
There were seriously valid reasons that I am a tad bit ashamed to write about. I counsel my friends all the time about being in destructive relationships, and yet, I stayed in one for six months. When I finally realized I was being hypocritical, and that I was unhappy to boot, I put the kibosh on it. To which he responded, according to a reliable source, by hooking up with his stripper ex (do I call her an ex when all she ever did was use him as a booty call ?) not even a week after we were broken up. So much for being in love with me, eh?
Anyhoo, I refuse to become one of those bitter people that bashes men every time a relationship goes horribly awry. I just look at this as an opportunity for growth and reflection. Besides, football season is upon us and, if you know nothing else about me, you will see that Slayer is never alone for long at a tailgate.
Ta for now!
State of the Union: Surprisingly upbeat
Listening to: Everybody's Changing by Keane.
I know everyone says she looks like a tranny, she's even said it herself, but I absolutely love Wendy Williams. She trips me out and tells it like it is. Plus, she wears wigs just like me, well, except I will be taking mine off at some point.
State of the Union: Amused
Listening to: Bad Girl by Danity Kane
Three Cheers: This is For All the Teachers Out There
My dad is probably going to have a coronary whilst simultaneously crapping his pants, but I decided to be a teacher. I want to teach 8th grade English (probably because I had an awesome teacher that year). I ran across this on You Tube and it had me cracking up. I used to teach Sunday School and it used to bother the heck out of me when people would be acting like little bastards while I was teaching. I don't think that kids in America would get crunk with their teachers if teachers were allowed to do this:
I know it's wrong and I'm probably going to go to Hell for it, but that made my day.
State of the Union: Amused
Listening to: Breathe Me by Sia
I absolutely despise Perez Hilton. I make no bones about it. He is constantly criticizing famous people when he himself has no talent. He uses photoshop to make inane comments and draw messed up things on the pictures of celebrities he doesn't like (i.e. drawing pictures of men's genitalia on people, make lines under people's noses like they snort coke, puddles of poo coming out of people's butts, etc). He's childish, he's immature, and someone needs to tell him that his 15 minutes are up and he needs to get over himself.
I know I should feel bad that he got knocked upside his head by the Black Eyed Peas' manager, but I don't. I'm only surprised that no one has done it before now. He made messed up comments to Fergie, called her bandmate a f*ggot, got cold-cocked upside his head, and then had the nerve to get upset that virtually no one is supporting him. You can only talk so much trash before somebody puts you in your place. The comments that he's made after Michael Jackson died I find to be truly tasteless. No matter what you thought of him, he was a human being with a family that is in mourning and that was just tacky. This assclown also says that Jennifer Aniston is ugly and if she's ugly, there's no hope left for any of us.
I know this is beside the point, especially since One Life to Live is a soap opera and not real (believe it or not, I do realize that, even though it may not seem like it by some of the comments I make) but here's a piece of advice: If you're going to make a stink about something and talk trash about an actress, make sure you have the facts. On his website, he is pissed because one of the actresses was protesting her small role in a gay storyline. She wasn't protesting that *she* was against it, but that her *character* would be and, if that pink haired idiot actually *watched* One Life to Live, he would know that what she's saying is true. People that just go in, guns blazing with no facts, are the ones that just really make me want to bop them over the head like a whack-a-mole game.
In the grand scheme of things, I know it's not a big deal. It just irritates me that this idiot keep flapping his gums and talking out of his neck when he should just shut up. And, in case any of my nosy coworkers or people that don't know me go there, no, I am not homophobic. I love gay boys. I just can't stand that particular one. He doesn't even have an office, but sits with his laptop in a coffee shop all day snaking their free wireless. I don't like that he's made a name for himself bashing people's careers, especially when he has no marketable skills or talents of his own. My little sister could draw better pictures with one of those old skool Etch-a-Sketch toys and she's only nine.
I wish that P-Nasty would sit down and shuuuuuut up. We all know that, despite all the crap he talks about her, he WISHES he was Britney Spears.
State of the Union: Disgusted
Listening to: Fallen by Sarah McLachlan
